a good-ol'-boy's guide to computers

1. BACKUP: What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

2. BARCODE: The fighting rules down at the local tavern

3. BUG: The reason you give for calling in sick

4. BYTE: What the pit bull did to cousin Jim Bob

5. CACHE: What you have to resort to when you run out of food stamps

6. CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

7. CRASH: When you go to Junior's party uninvited

8. DIGITAL: Counting on your fingers

9. DISKETTE: A female disco dancer

10. FAX: The only thing the FBI is interested in

11. HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

12. INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers put their hair

13. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the tractor

14. MAC: Big Bubbas favorite fast food

15. MODEM: I.Q. comparison (as in "He's mo' dumb than y'all")

16. MOUSE PAD: Where Mickey and Minnie live

17. NETWORK: Scooping up a big fish before it breaks the line

18. ONLINE: Where to walk when taking the sobriety test

19. ROM: Where the Pope lives

20. SCREEN: The thing that helps keep the "skeeters" (mosquitoes) off the porch

21. SERIAL PORT: A red wine you drink with breakfast

22. SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's employee of the year

23. TERMINAL: Time to call the undertaker

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